my word for the year...my little reminder to DO more. to stop over thinking and just DO. to let go of things. to step out of myself and DO what i normally wouldn't.
do you ever feel that you have stopped living?? i appreciate so much in my life...smile at the little things and really try to make the most of each day. but within that i realized that while i trying to make the most of each day i was really only a spectator. watching it all from a safe distance, usually behind my camera.
"let's go sledding!"which is really code for...jay and the kids go sledding while i stand at the top of the hill and watch the fun. this code also translates to "let's go to the park!" and a plethora of other fun filled family adventures.
so when it was suggested over the christmas holidays that we go sledding/snowboarding, of course, i was all over the idea!! photo op!!! but up on that hill, on my parents farm, up in the middle of nowhere frozen north...my baby brother suggested i try his board and go down!! now normally these suggestion are always met with a thanks but no, i'm taking pics. but after some friendly and gently pushing i found myself strapping myself into my brothers snowboard. yup...and then proceed to attempt the hill. did i fall on my arse?? o yeah i did...jay caught it all on my camera!!! but gosh, it was fun!!! and i realized then, after a few more tries down the hill, that i needed to let go and do more.
i have this fear and i let it get to me so much more then i thought i had...i don't DO new things or let my guard down for fear of making a fool of myself...embarrassing myself...it goes way back to elementary school and low self esteem...but at some point it became my crutch. my excuse.
so no more...this is my year to DO. DO new things. DO things that scare me. DO what i wouldn't normally. to stop watching and DO.
so my year of firsts started with snowboarding....i know a little earlier then the new year...but i am counting it, lol!!! and it continued with playing wii rock band (beatles version) for the first time...i don't play wii, it's for kids, right?? so wrong!!! and not only did i play wii rock band..but i was handed the lead mic...and yeah, i sang!! i don't sing in front of people. yes i can sing, i just don't unless i am by myself.
dude! so freeing. so much fun. and so many more great memories...memories that i am actively a part of instead of a spectator.
this is the year i stop saying i don't do...and start saying DO